Rewrapping Christmas

This year as the Christmas season approached, I felt a sudden calling to refocus on what the true meaning of Christmas was and what the holiday season is truly meant to feel like. It was three months until Christmas and the holiday stress was already beginning. As a new mom, I just thought how am I going to survive the holidays when I’m still trying to adapt to becoming a mother, along with being a wife, work, personal projects, and countless other responsibilities. That is when it hit me, why on earth am I stressing over my favorite holiday months before it’s even here? The answer, because there is this apparent pressure that we have to check everything off our Christmas to-do list before December 24th rolls around.

As I thought about it, certain things brought me stress at the idea of having to get them done, and to do it perfectly. The sad realization is that I was not the only one who felt this way. Most people, mom’s especially, get very stressed just thinking about the holidays because of course we put this pressure on ourselves to create these beautiful memories and traditions for our loved ones and in the midst of getting it all done, we end up with ten more grey hairs because we’re stressing to achieve perfection. But this pressure doesn’t come from us alone, society and the commercialization of the Christmas season add this weight of achieving a perfectly wrapped holiday season.

There is an unrealistic expectation that we have to always drain ourselves, like buying presents for everyone you know, taking the perfect family Christmas photo, attending every Christmas party you’re invited to, or trying to squeeze as many visits with extended family into the little vacation time that you have just to name a few. Now there are many things that may have become a tradition in our home, like baking cookies for each of your kid’s classes. However, if that tradition goes from being done out of love and the kindness of your heart, to being done because it’s expected or an obligation, then it stops being a tradition and becomes a chore. And that isn’t what a tradition is supposed to be. Traditions are supposed to bring us joy and allow us to create lasting memories with those we love. But sometimes, traditions have a season of their own, they have a beginning and an end. That concept is not easy to swallow, but one thing we need to remember is that Christmas is not about the traditions, the presents we give, or the pretty garland we hang. It is about preparing for the arrival of our savior while spending time with those we love, and how we spend time with them should not be done as another to-do list item. My solution to avoid this stress was to follow one simple rule; if it brought me a lot of stress, I wasn’t going to do it. And let me tell you, I haven’t enjoyed the holiday season this much since I was a kid, and I didn’t have to stop doing a lot of what I normally did.

Now the idea was not to eliminate doing traditions or anything to celebrate the holidays but to focus on creating lasting moments with those I loved in whatever way that was possible without adding stress. In other words, it’s okay if how we spent time together was not always the same as the years prior. And think about it, as our families grow the dynamic of each family member changes. As we grow up the things we like, our tastes and preferences change. So it would make sense that some of our traditions also change. While some we pass on to the next generation, perhaps others we will have to adapt to the changing of the times or even say goodbye to those that no longer fit the dynamic of the family.

To refocus on Christmas, while still having the opportunity to enjoy the season, we have to eliminate the excess and just enjoy the now. Instead of worrying about what present to buy someone, try spending quality time with them doing a fun activity like baking cookies together for each other’s families. The quality time you spend with a person will always be a greater gift than any present you get them. Another constant pressure we deal with is time. We fill our to-do list with all these Christmas activities and there just isn’t enough time. Our mentality alone can solve that problem. It’s okay if it doesn’t get done. If you are too focused on rushing through your Christmas activities just to get to the next one on the list, then you are not actually enjoying any of them. It’s better to complete a few things on your bucket list and have enjoyed them fully than to complete a hundred items and feel completely drained. I can tell you, the next year you will be less motivated to do any of them because your memory of them is a stressful one rather than a pleasant one.

In the end, refocusing our mentality on what Christmas is about and how we should enjoy it requires we let go of the picture-perfect holiday that we see advertised all around us. We need to refocus our attention on those who are around us, like our family and our friends. We need to find ways to bring joy and charity to those who need it most this time of year. This is how we keep Christ in Christmas. It isn’t trying to make having the nicest decorations, giving as many gifts your wallet can buy, or throwing the best Christmas party on the block. If we seek to give of ourselves to others completely, expecting nothing in return and filling the hearts of others with comfort and joy, then we will succeed in rewrapping the Christmas season with the correct ribbons and bows and truly allow ourselves to be ready for the coming of our savior.