Our One-Income Family

From the beginning of our marriage, we were a one-income household. I was job searching in the middle of a pandemic as a recent college graduate and had no luck finding a position close to home. Like so many at the time, finding a job during that unpredictable time was a struggle as you competed with so many who were in the same boat. However, I was fortunate that my husband had a stable job that provided enough for us to live comfortably and the truth is that was really all we needed.

We didn’t have the latest gadgets or fancy cars. We actually had one car, and we still do. We lived in a cozy one-bedroom apartment in a nice part of town but it wasn’t the fanciest place either. Eating out was something we did on occasion as a treat and focused on cooking at home. We were creative with finding free or affordable activities to do together instead of spending money on nightlife, expensive entertainment, or regular trips. As a business major, I stayed on top of our finances to help us find the best ways to save money and do without what we really didn’t need. I spent the first seven months of our marriage fully embracing my housewife and homemaker role. That was not just my contribution to our family, it was my profession, and one I had dreamed of my whole life.

Then came the blessing of finding out we were expecting our firstborn. Naturally, the concerns of being able to provide for a baby popped into our heads but we quickly realized that while we had a pretty modest living we would have the means to give our child what she truly needed. I helped us prepare our budget, strategize our investments, and forecast our savings so that we could be more prepared for when the baby would arrive nine months later. I became doubtful about the possibility of finding a job because who was going to hire the pregnant lady? I’m pretty sure God was upstairs saying, “just wait and see.” But I continued the not-so-diligent job search and suddenly a position opened up that was an unexpected blessing. At two months pregnant, I landed a part-time position in the same place my husband was working. God had a plan the whole time, I just had to patiently wait for it to unfold, and boy did he deliver. There I was with a new job that allowed me to manage my time as a homemaker, as a wife, launch a blog, and handle a pregnancy, all while working from home. The perfect balance between work and home life had landed in my lap. God is so good.

Well, that’s how it was for almost two years, me balancing being a mother, wife, homemaker, blogger, and working professional. Eventually, God showed me that it was time to devote my full attention to my family and home. After almost two years, I transitioned to being a full-time, stay-at-home mom and it was the best decision we could have made for our family. When it came to the matter of finances, it wasn’t going to really impact us because losing my income wasn’t going to be much, and we had been living like a one-income family from the beginning. I know for some families who make that transition it can be a bigger impact going from two to one income, but when you organize your finances, prioritize the necessities from the luxuries, and see how much more your family will gain from it, the big scary monster of an idea suddenly becomes less scary.

So that’s the story of how we became and have been a one-income family. But what are some of the ways we manage that lifestyle? Some of that I mentioned already, such as not eating out regularly, being creative with finding free or affordable activities, and managing our finances responsibly. One mentality that has helped us from the beginning has been to always be frugal, even when the financial situation is very good. Just because you have a lot of money, doesn’t mean you need to just spend it. That state of mind is what made it so much easier to adjust when things suddenly became tight or there were unexpected big expenses and we needed to recuperate a little. Having been able to say no to buying excess or things we wanted, but didn’t need, became a good habit that made the tough times a lot less tough.

If you are in the habit of buying everything you like, or everything you think you need, without having to worry about the expense because, “we have more than enough to live off of,” you will find that habit to be much harder to break when you find yourself in a bind. Not to mention you have created a habit that focuses on greed, gluttony, instant gratification, materialism, and dependency. Your desire to have more and have it now enslaves you to the object of your desires and attaches you to the idea that possessing that object will bring you happiness and satisfaction. Being frugal is the opposite, it is a virtue that helps you avoid waste, lavishness, and extravagances. Is it okay to indulge from time to time? Yes, treating yourself with responsible means is perfectly fine, it’s constantly wasting money on materials you don’t need and consuming things that you can live without that is a problem. Being frugal isn’t just a state of mind, it is a habit that needs to be practiced. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes to say no to the things you don’t need. It’s also good to note that there is a difference between saving up to pay for a lavish expense and just spending constantly on extravagances.

When you work hard and save to pay for something you really want, there is so much more satisfaction once you obtain that prize. The satisfaction that you worked hard to earn it and the comfort that you were responsible in obtaining it, in other words, your family didn’t suffer from an extravagant purchase. Saving up for something you want typically involves first making sure you provide for the necessities and then what is left is put towards the wants. Doing so also requires being patient and flexible, acknowledging that it can take time to obtain that want because of unexpected expenses or circumstances. Another important thing is to be content with never having that want to become a reality. What I mean is, you can live happily without ever traveling internationally, owning that sports car, wearing that sweater, or eating at the latest hotspot. Being able to be happy with less is living detached from the things of this world. That isn’t just a virtue, it is a calling from God on how we should live in this life. The things of this world are just that, of this world. They are not the meaning of life. If we find fulfillment in luxuries then we have not found true happiness. Our fulfillment isn’t in expensive trips, top-brand clothing, and having more. Our fulfillment is found in having made an impact, be it small or big, that was done so in fulfilling God’s will and helping others. Our fulfillment is found in the divine, not the perishable.

Living as a one-income family comes with its sacrifices, after all being frugal requires some level of sacrifice. Saying no is a form of sacrifice because you are giving up something. In our case it is giving up eating out regularly, expensive vacations, excess shopping, and going to the movies. We are frugal with our groceries, always seeking the best deals and being creative with our menu items. Occasionally we treat ourselves to some more costly goods like expensive meats, nice desserts, or some ice cream, but not eating out helps offset those costs. Instead of going on regular date nights out, we try to be creative with fun date nights in, like dancing in the garden, movie night, cooking together a new dish, sunset picnics, or our latest, kayaking on the lake. When we want to have a fun experience as a family we look at local events and see which ones could be fun to attend that are free and while we’re there we focus on taking in the experience and not so much spending money there. Instead of eating out at the event we buy an affordable snack or treat and share it. One huge saver has been sharing our meals or treats when we do eat out. Sometimes ordering one large ice cream is cheaper than two small ones, and there is always something sweet about sharing a treat with a loved one, not to mention the added bonus of not overindulging in unhealthy eats. Some places just give you way more than you actually eat. Each sacrifice we make has rewarded us with unique and loving memories. Sometimes that tiny, five-star plate that cost $70 isn’t as good as a $20 homecooked meal with leftovers. And when we do want to go out and pay for an experience or something, we compensate elsewhere. If we want to go to the zoo, maybe we’ll eat out less this month. If we want to go to a concert maybe we’ll save for it by cutting out other costs. Whatever it may be, when we want something, we typically give up something else for it. There is always some sort of sacrifice that is involved, what is important is to be doing it for the right reasons, responsibly, and seeking the good. We haven’t stopped living, we’ve been savoring the little moments.

So that is how we have managed to live as a one-income household. Through our state of mind, our responsible financing and budgeting, and our sacrifices. Through all of those, we have found more joy, peace, and fulfillment than all the excess we could buy. We have sacrificed so much, but have been rewarded even greater. The things we had to give up or chose to give up have never been regretted and aren’t missed. Our family has still created beautiful memories from the experiences we’ve had and cherishes the things we possess. We have found joy in the little things and have found happiness with less. We have been grateful for what we have, what we’ve earned, and what we have been gifted. But, above all, we live with the comfort of knowing that our hearts desire only what God wants and that whenever he asks us to give up something, it is for his greater glory, and we are more willing to fulfill that request.