Hosting Simply

Hosting can be a delightful thing for those who enjoy opening their home up to be filled with the joy and laughter of loved ones and new guests. It can be a beautiful way to show charity to each individual that walks through your front door and make your home a place for warm gatherings. However, for some, the idea of hosting brings a small headache, mostly due to the stress of living up to false expectations. For many women, the idea of hosting comes with a pressure of putting on a lavish display of one's hospitality, thanks in part to social media, Pinterest, and countless influencers who make most average and ordinary women feel like hosting has to be a lavish, expensive, and picture perfect affair. It can be intimidating and stressful to see so many ideas of these elaborate balloon arches, expensive backdrops, and life-sized props which make a person feel like they have to achieve some of this in order to satisfy their guest. Are we satisfying our guests' needs, or are we satisfying our thirst to show off? This sense of pressure puts the focus on hosting to impress versus hosting to gather, and as a consequence has caused many people to close their front door to hosting because they are burned out. But hosting does not have to be a stressful or elaborate thing. Hosting can still be an opportunity to open your home while creating a space that is pleasing to the eye and inviting to your guest without succumbing to the internet’s picture perfect idea.

As women we naturally have an inclination in paying attention to detail and seeking to make each person around us feel well taken care of. We also have the inclination to bring beauty and order into our surroundings, particularly our home. It is only fitting that when we open up our home we would want to create a welcoming environment that our guests will feel comfortable in. One of the ways we seek to make our homes welcoming is by how it appears. A home that is disorganized with items and trash lying around is not as welcoming as a home that is tidy and clean. This can be the first thing that discourages many women from wanting to host. They become discouraged with having to “clean” the house, and it doesn’t help that there is a strong movement that pushes for our homes to look like someone “lives” there. It can be easy to want to stay in our comfort zone, but when we open up our homes to others the joy in itself is rewarding. I agree our homes should look like a family lives there, but that doesn’t mean our home has to look like chaos and be messy. It’s perfectly fine that there are kid toys visible, but instead of being left everywhere like they haven’t been played with for days, having them in a basket or toy chest is best. Rather than having rubber boots lying across the hall, have them against the wall to avoid people tripping over them. Picking up trash or cleaning the kitchen isn’t just orderly, it should be common hygiene. The point is not to make your home look like a staged magazine cover where no human life is visible, but rather a home that reflects your family’s existence in an organized and normal manner. Staging is not normal, but complete disorder is not normal either, it is also not virtuous. Order within our home is necessary because it allows for a proper family life to exist where relationships may positively thrive and where important objectives may be pursued. It isn’t about having everything structured to the last detail, but it is about practicing the virtue of order in a way that a home may function properly and in a productive manner. When there is no order within a home you have chaos, poor structure, and negative relationships that focus on selfish wants.

When we practice order within our home regularly, hosting can become less discouraging. We are more inclined to open our homes up because tidying the house won’t take very long, especially if everyone contributes, and the idea of welcoming guests in can be something we actually look forward to. Once there is order, we start to focus on the details that we can do to host in a charitable way. The key to hosting is not how extravagant things appear, but the love and care which details are performed. It isn’t about how over the top the decorations are but how attentive and loving the company is. If what you want is to have people walk around your decorated home like it was a showroom, then you are not really hosting selflessly. Now, this isn’t to say you shouldn’t decorate for parties or even make simple arrangements to make things look nice. On the contrary, we should seek ways to bring beauty into our home for special gatherings to help set a mood and elevate our guests' experience, they just don’t need to be lavish or over the top. At the end of the day it isn’t about how fancy the meal or cake was or how elaborate the decorations are, your guest will reflect more on if they had a good time gathering with the present company and how accommodating and charitable the hostess was. They will reflect on the kindness, generosity, and charitable details that they were given.

With that said, how can we host in a simple way that is still inviting to our guests and will create a beautiful space that is attractive? The answer is to focus on a few nice details versus too many lavish details. Focusing on simpler details will make things easier for you as the hostess when there are less things to be on top of, and your guests will feel more comfortable in a setting you have created that is more like a home and not like a showroom. It’s good to not go to the opposite extreme that we never put effort in to have a few nice details because we always want things to be easy. It is a balance of finding the right harmony between simplicity and attention to detail. The first detail is food. Providing your guest with some sort of refreshments is typical, and almost common sense when it comes to hosting. However, providing food and drinks doesn’t always have to be elaborate and today it can feel like when we have guests coming we need to pull out the red carpet. Offering refreshments and food can be as simple as iced teas and a dessert, or as complex as a full meal. The decision is ultimately up to you, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to make a steak dinner just because someone is coming over. If your finances allow it and it’s not a stress to you, then do it. However, if your finances are tight and all you can offer is a simple lentil soup and some shortbread cookies, you shouldn’t feel ashamed either. When it comes to offering something to eat and drink for your guest, you should offer whatever you can selflessly and what's reasonably within your means.

The second detail is creating a welcoming setting. If you’re hosting a themed party, you will be more inclined to do a little more with the decorations to set the mood and create a fun space for celebrating. This is perfectly fine, and for some people, this is almost a hobby. I personally enjoy coming up with fun themes and decorating, but I make sure to do it within my means. Pinterest can be a bad influence if you let it be as it sets false expectations on how parties should look. It can also make more than one person spend more than they should on unnecessary and lavish decorations. Doing it yourself and being creative with items you already have is a great way to save money on decorating, but also recognizing that less is more. Themed parties don’t require that the whole house be decorated, so keeping the decor to a minimum around the house and putting the attention in one area such as the table with the birthday cake is one way to reduce the amount of work and spending you do for those sorts of parties. If you’re hosting a more laid back gathering, taking the time to dress your table can help create an inviting space for your guest without going over the top. A simple change in tablecloth and some linen napkins can make each of your guests feel well taken care of and even pampered. Using some of the items in your home to create a simple centerpiece on the table can add a little extra touch while still feeling homey. Filling a vase with a small floral arrangement from the store or fresh seasonal flowers from your own garden helps bring some of the outdoors in and a refreshing vibe into the room. Simple, these details can make all the difference in elevating your gathering space to feel more warm and inviting without putting extra stress on you or your wallet.

Yet, the final, and most important detail, is how you interact with your guests. Taking the time to talk with each one of your guests is a beautiful way to grow in each individual relationship. By giving them your time and attention, you allow each guest to feel valued, heard, and loved. It allows you both the opportunity to learn more about one another, bond, and create lasting memories. As a host, taking the time to also bring together guests that haven’t met is a great way to make everyone feel included and cared for. This also allows the opportunity for new friendships to be fostered and ensure that no one feels left out or alone. Larger gatherings can have this effect on some guests who might be new to a group, so taking the time to make sure that everyone is socially included and taken care of is exactly how we can practice the virtues of friendship and sociability. Finally, as the hostess, it is critical you seek to meet your guests needs and accommodate them as best as you can, within reason of course. The most common is ensuring everyone has plenty to eat and drink. Being aware of special food allergies, or even pet allergies, is an important way of making those individuals know they are cared for and is essential in being a considerate hostess. Ensuring that each of your guests is comfortable within your home and taking the time and energy to ensure they feel that way is what will have a lasting effect on how others feel about entering your home. It is one of the key components in creating a welcoming atmosphere where guests will want to return to because they feel well taken care of, respected, and loved. Accommodating and meeting your guests needs is also the charitable thing to do. It is putting the needs of others before your own, sacrificing your own comfort or preference in order to show genuine and selfless love to each individual.

Hosting can be seen as a burden in our modern times, especially when we think more about our own comfort and routine. We are creatures of habit and typically enjoy sticking to our own structure and focussing on meeting our own needs. With the influence of social media and marketing creating unrealistic expectations, we can easily shy away from the idea of opening up our homes. But when we open up our homes and seek to look at hosting as an opportunity to show love and kindness to all who enter, we will find that our lives will be far happier because we have opened up our hearts to serve others. Our home should be a reflection of our hearts, and hearts that seek to serve can achieve this without meeting the picture perfect expectations that exist. Hosting can be fun, creative, and charitable. It doesn’t have to break the budget or seek to impress others. Hosting can be done simply and still executed in an aesthetically pleasing way. All it takes is having the right attitude, being creative, and above all being generous with our time, attention, and service.