Hospitality and the Holiday's

As the holidays approach, many may find themselves rushing to prepare the last minute touches before opening up their home to the countless guests that will soon fall upon the house. One of the most common depictions of the stress around the holidays that is shown nowadays is the stress of hosting and the many inconveniences or headaches that come with opening up our homes to extended family and friends. The irony is that hosting is being shown as a negative experience even though the holiday season, specifically Christmas, is actually a time we are all called to show hospitality to all those we encounter with great love. While hospitality comes with many aspects such as offering a warm bed, hosting a celebration, or providing food and drink, the true significance behind this virtue lies in our attitude towards serving others. 

Henri Nouwen, a Dutch priest, once explained that, “Hospitality, therefore, means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. . . Hospitality is not a subtle invitation to adopt the lifestyle of the host, but the gift of a chance for the guest to find his own.” Ultimately, there shouldn’t be restrictions or expectations on how our guests should feel and act, but rather the acceptance of who they are and providing the space for all present to freely share of themselves.

Hospitality is about how we open up our hearts and minds to serving others in ways that meet their needs while being willing to receive the gifts that they bring, or the changes they bring. It is about being open to those changes and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to a new way of doing things by letting go of our comfort, individualism, and self-centered ideals. Hospitality is an openness to what guests bring to us. Perhaps it is a new tradition, way of thinking, perspective, or something as simple as a cultural dish. Regardless of what the change or new is, hospitality allows us to welcome those that enter our homes in a way that is fully accepting of the gifts that individual brings. 

We may often view hospitality as serving our guests on our own terms when really it should be serving to make our guests feel that they have a space to freely be themselves. Yes, there is still a limit and it is a give and take from both sides. A guest must learn to be grateful for what they are given and not ask for much, while a host must accommodate to the needs of the guest, within reason and never against their moral conscience. However, it is on the host to create a space where their guests are not afraid to find or be themselves, and where friendship can take place. 

When practicing hospitality it is important to embrace the individual rather than trying to meet the social standards on what hosting should “look like.” Oftentimes we see hosting fall into two spectrums, to host in a way that doesn’t put effort into the details or hosting that focuses on too many details seeking perfection. Sometimes a host can put very little effort into creating an inviting space for their guest to feel welcomed and special by seeking to do the bare minimum and that their guest must accept that because doing more isn’t “realistic.” Where on the opposite end of the spectrum you have a host that wants perfection in every detail from the aesthetics to the lifestyle, they are seeking to create an unrealistic perception of who they are for self-gratification. Neither end is truly embracing the virtue of hospitality. Rather than doing the least amount of effort or painting a false picture of perfection, a host should put effort into the details that create a space their guest feels comfortable in and where the host may tend to them in loving and meaningful ways. Hospitality is not about how to serve others in ways that best fit oneself, or even one's personal preference, but rather how to best serve the other individual. 

How does one practice the true meaning of hospitality around the holidays? The key lies in changing one's attitude and how they view hospitality. It starts by becoming open minded to the differences that come with having guests over and the openness to adapting during the duration of the visit. It is also about serving our guests with a sacrificial heart. Each detail and gesture towards our guest should be one that is selfless and courteous. Rather than seeing the extra effort or the workload that comes with hosting holiday gatherings as an inconvenience, it is seeing it all in a positive and generous light. It is an opportunity to show others love in countless acts that put them before our own comfort and convenience. While how we view hospitality is the start to practicing the virtue, there are also many ways we can focus our attention to the details in how we are hospitable towards our guests that help anticipate their needs, make them feel loved, and is a sacrificial gesture. 

When it comes to opening up your home during the holiday season, you should be focused on the details that not only create a warm and inviting atmosphere, but the details that help make each guest feel loved and cared for. Many of the most common practices such as clean bed sheets, a towel, and a clean bathroom are great, but sometimes putting a little extra thought into those basic details can be ways to make your guest feel extra special while also anticipating some of their needs. For example, nicely folding your guests towels and leaving them on their bed instead of a linen closet can be a great way to have this basic necessity at the ready in a more convenient spot for your guest. It’s a simple gesture to show you care and wanting them to not have to stress about remembering where things are kept. Another small detail can be leaving a new bar of soap and small toiletries like shampoo and toothpaste in the bathroom on a folded hand towel or in a nice little basket on the counter with a sweet note. Leaving a clean glass with a small pitcher or bottle of water on the nightstand so they can have a drink late at night is also another detail that anticipates your guests needs and is how you put effort into making them feel cared for. You could leave a little chocolate on the pillow as a thoughtful treat for your guest to enjoy. 

Making sure to provide accommodations that allows your guest to have a space that is their own is also a great way to give them the space to feel more comfortable and like themselves. Ensuring their room is not only comfortable with a well made bed but has a few other amenities to help them feel more at home. A cozy reading chair with some light reading material to relax and enjoy some private quiet time is a wonderful way to create a space for your guest to unwind. Providing some empty drawers and hangers so they may unpack their clothes and even a suitcase stand can really help your guest feel like they can live within your home more to their habits. 

Other ways of anticipating your guests' needs is checking in ahead of a visit for any dietary restrictions or needs like special food or drink items. If there are lifestyle specifics you know about the individual, taking the time to prepare in order to properly accommodate the individual is another way to show loving hospitality. If a guest has a physical limitation or disability, prepare the home to suit those limitations such as making space for a wheelchair by putting extra items away or spacing out some of the furniture for better mobility and flow. If a guest has a seasonal allergy, replacing the air filters and keeping windows closed ahead of the visit are ways to prepare for the arrival of those special loved ones. Perhaps you’re hosting a family with little ones, having a small selection of games, activity books, or toys can be a great way to make those little ones feel welcomed, and the parents will be grateful for the gesture. 

As you begin to prepare for the arrival of your guest, do not forget to ponder on the true meaning of hospitality. Remember to focus your attention to the details and gestures that are selfless and allow each of your guest to feel more at liberty to be themselves. Take the time to prepare for their arrival by anticipating the needs and likes of those you will be hosting as a way to make them feel more comfortable within your own home. Take the time to perform a few thoughtful gestures that make them feel loved and special. Most importantly, if you remember to be truly hospitable and to welcome those into your home with a heart of service and acceptance, you will quickly savor the sweetness that comes with hosting for the holidays.